I miss my old life.
I feel like I'm living in a haze, a fog that has crept in on little cat feet, slowly, catching me unawares. I wake up each day, realizing something is different, something is not quite right.
My life has been shrouded, covered, and I want it back.
I want my mom to be okay.
I want to stop being constantly annoyed by my children.
I want to want to tackle responsibilities rather than escape them.
I want to feel in control, well-rested, and healthy.
I want an actual conversation with my husband, not just a one-sided run-down of the day's happenings. I want to spend time with my husband, not just pass by each other between one meeting or event and another.
I want the fog to lift, to reveal my life again.
I know everything will look different, be different, but still I want to see it, to know it's there, safe and secure.
Even if "normal" is now changed, altered.
At least that way I'd feel grounded, clear-sighted, purposeful.
At least I'd feel like me again.