Thursday, February 12, 2009

Romance? Who Needs Romance?

Prince Charming and I have never been very romantic.

We started off as very good friends. We spent tons of time together, but we were never really interested in each other romantically. In fact, throughout most of our friendship, both of us were actually interested in other people. We really only started dating each other because we wanted to keep each other in our lives. Basically, in order to remain friends, we needed to up our relationship level. We knew that if we did start dating, that it would lead to marriage.

So, we both, quite literally, married our best friends. Getting married was the only way we saw that we could remain friends.

Oh, sure, once we started dating some things changed. There was definitely some kissing involved and some much deeper conversations.

Pretty soon into our dating relationship, we really, truly, began to love each other. But we always had our friendship to fall back on. It made things more comfortable, made the transition from "just friends" to dating, to engaged, to married that much easier.

Even now, when things get rough and we've disconnected for awhile, the friendship our marriage is based on always pulls us through.

We begin to reconnect by just talking to each other, like we did before the kissing started. Eventually, the friendship pulls us forward, back into connection. Back into spending time, just the two of us. Back into marveling at how we both got so lucky to find the other person. Back into realizing that God's plan for us is so much more than either of us ever thought it could be or even wanted it to be.

Because if it weren't for Him, we would never have gotten together at all. Really and truly.

Okay. Back to romance:

Obviously, as friends, Prince Charming and I weren't romantic. That would have been weird. Of course, once we started dating, being romantic was weird anyway.

We weren't used to it. It wasn't "us." Maybe it was just an excuse back then; I don't know. Although, it's hard to be romantic when most of your actual dates occur at the grocery store. Sure, we had some evenings of nice dinners, and we had the occasional movie night. But for the most part, it was grocery shopping, long drives, and serious discussions.

Part of our unromantic nature stems from Prince Charming's abhorrence of PDA. People, it's so bad, he barely kissed me at our wedding. (Seriously, our kiss was so short, the photographer couldn't even capture it. We just watched our wedding video again a few weeks ago, and it was embarrassing!) Even today, after 8 1/2 years of marriage, I doubt Prince Charming could pull off a decent wedding kiss in front of people. It's just not his thing. He sometimes won't even kiss me on New Year's if there are people around. He'll finally hold my hand in public, but that's about it.

I had always wanted someone more romantic. Someone who would often bring me flowers for no reason, or gifts. Someone who would touch me in public, hug me, kiss me. Someone who would always stand too close, letting the world know I was his.

At least, I thought that's what I wanted.

Instead, I wanted Prince Charming. And wanting Prince Charming meant giving up what I thought I had always wanted.

I have never regretted any of it.

We talk every once in awhile about how we can add some romance to our marriage. It would be nice, but I don't think it's necessary anymore. Not for us. As long as we connect, do things just the two of us, I'm content.

Romance? Who needs romance? Not me. I've found my Prince Charming, and that's all that matters.


  1. Romance fades. True love is forever. I think you've done pretty dang well!

  2. That's kinda funny about it being weird to be romantic with your friend! ;)
    We are like the exact opposite. We knew each other 13 months when we got married, 9 months from when we started dating!


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