Fog

I miss normal.

I miss my old life.

I feel like I'm living in a haze, a fog that has crept in on little cat feet, slowly, catching me unawares. I wake up each day, realizing something is different, something is not quite right.

My life has been shrouded, covered, and I want it back.

I want my mom to be okay.

I want to stop being constantly annoyed by my children.

I want to want to tackle responsibilities rather than escape them.

I want to feel in control, well-rested, and healthy.

I want an actual conversation with my husband, not just a one-sided run-down of the day's happenings. I want to spend time with my husband, not just pass by each other between one meeting or event and another.

I want the fog to lift, to reveal my life again.

I know everything will look different, be different, but still I want to see it, to know it's there, safe and secure.

Even if "normal" is now changed, altered.

At least that way I'd feel grounded, clear-sighted, purposeful.

At least I'd feel like me again.