As much as I love my kids and enjoy every stage of their development, I'm just not a baby-baby kind of person.
Yes, baby-babies have cute feet and sweet-smelling heads. Yes, they are tiny and helpless and so dependent. Yes, I even get immense satisfaction from nursing my babies, and I love watching their little eyes droop closed into a milk-induced coma.
But, the fact of the matter is, I don't go ga-ga over babies.
I have little desire to hold other babies. I don't insist on ripping off their socks to experience the euphoria that is baby feet. I don't get that fluttering feeling when I see little tiny babies.
I just don't! Of course, it's different with my own, but they're mine. We have a connection.
Oh, sure, I think other people's babies are cute. I really do. And I'll hold another baby without having to be asked twice. I just don't melt into a puddle of goo over them.
That being said, I honestly can't wait for The Little Prince to grow up.
I enjoyed Cinderella's baby years because she was my first, but I always anxiously awaited the next stage to see what she would do and how she would develop.
I enjoyed Sleeping Beauty's baby years even more because I knew what was coming. I knew to enjoy every minute of every phase she went through because I knew it wouldn't last.
With The Little Prince, however, I'm tired of babies. I am so looking forward to him sitting up and interacting and exploring. I am so looking forward to him realizing he can play with his sisters. I am so looking forward to him crawling and walking and eating and talking.
It's not that I necessarily want him to grow up quickly; it's not that I'm not enjoying him right now as he is.
I am just so excited to see the person he's going to become.
I am so excited to see his little personality develop. I am so excited to see how he interacts with his sisters. I am so excited to have a little boy in the house and see how he differs from the girls.
I feel like I should want him to stay a baby forever. He's my last one. (And, yes, we've taken measures to ensure he's our last one.) I feel like I should not be looking forward, but only looking back and regretting that I'll never experience any of this again.
But I'm not. And I don't really want to. I know I'll miss these days. I know I'll probably miss having a baby someday.
Then again, I might not. I might just enjoy my children where they are too much to miss where they were. We'll see.
Sometimes I wish my son was a baby again. Just wait until he starts walking all over, throwing his dinner on the floor and fighting with his sister over toys. Then you will wish that he was a little baby again.
ReplyDeleteYet another thing we have in common... :) while I want to have more children I'm not exactly looking forward to the tiny helpless, sleepless nights. The first 3 months were pure misery at our house and I'm so loving my little man and all his personality right now!
ReplyDeleteI don't relate to the other ladies at Bible study who go gaga over the latest newborn!